Chellukuthy's Metamorphosis

Chellukuthy Varkey, does what his nickname implies; day-in and day-out he climbs those coconut trees, dresses the canopy, removes extraneous material around where the nuts grow, and searches for the reviled blackish arthropod called chellu. Chellu lives in self-made burrows or tunnels in the madalu, the leaf structure of the coconut tree. Varkey uses a pointed iron bar with a fish-hook like end to extricate them bastards out of their deep burrows. His amazing proclivity to dislodge and bring out the deeply buried ones earned him the nickname "Chellukuthy". At the crack of dawn, he leaves Marium his beloved wife and heads out to the next estate he has lined up. He briefly stops by at the local Chayakada (tea shop) where he usually will grab a kadumkappy (black coffee) and two slices of poottu. Knowing very well that the Chayakada  owner Aagasthi does not want a Pulayan (member of an untouchable tribe) converted into Christianity sit down inside the shop along with his normal clientele, Varkey accepts his poottu in his hand and accepts the kappy into an aluminum container he brought along. Nibbling on the poottu and sipping the kappy (coffee), he heads to the next estate he has lined up.

He comes from a long lineage of accomplished climbers with his grandfather, Patrose, being the giant of all. Patrose's climbing prowess is legendary in and around Kozhippilly, earning him the nick name "Annaan" (squirrel) with the folklore having him jumping from one tree to the next one like his namesake. Large swaths of Areca farms lay waste to that acrobatic brachiator. Starting at one end of the farm, he will climb the tree at the very edge and after pulling down the nuts, swing the tree towards the next tree in line taking hold of that tree and pulling it towards him; he will transplant himself on that tree. He repeats this until the edge of that row is reached before coming down to have a sip of the kanjivellom (water used for cooking rice) he had brought with him. When Patrose found out that his grandson was going into taking care of the coconut trees, he was thoroughly disappointed. Varkey still remembers his grandfather's words, "Adackel aanu to kasu" (money is still in the areca farms). But his own fascination with chellu was too much to overcome for him to follow his ancestral specialty of handling the areca trees.

His calendar calls for finishing up that day the trees in the Thoppil estate, a parcel of land along the Kozhippilly river banks with mostly mature (about thirty to forty years old) coconut trees. His range (the area he prowls to eke out a living and provide for Marium) stretches from south of Kozhippilly river and includes Inchur, Pedoor, Varappetty, and the outskirts of Vazhakulam. He seldom ventures out to the north of the river to Kothamangalam, a bustling town of street peddlers and con artists, supposedly the gateway to the high ranges like Munnar, Devikolam, and so on. On a good day, Chellukuthy can finish off about hundred trees by early afternoon. At that point, he will calls it quits and head out to the Toddy shop. Unlike Aagasthi's shop, Chellukuthy is allowed to sit inside. Why not? Patrons, mainly consisting of the tradesmen like Aasari, Moosari, Kollan, Thattan, and of course, the daily laborers like him, who spend most of their earnings on Toddy, are treasured there.

The last day in the Thoppil estate is always problematic. In fact, it is only a single tree that gives him all the trouble. That coconut tree stands alone right at the edge of the riverbanks adjacent to a massive, very tall Angili tree. He had been negotiating with Kuriaype Muthalaly to see whether he could abandon that one tree. Being miserly, Muthalaly refused to listen and insisted on him completing all the trees. For Chellukuthy, it is the Angeli tree that is the real problem. For neeru (a distant cousin of the fervent central American fire ant) is well entrenched on the Angeli with multitude of large nests constructed out of the Angeli leaves resembling the giant hot air balloons. Chellukuthy is OK with that, he can quickly climb the tree, fell the coconuts, and be down before the ants wise up to the intrusion. But it is the collection of the crows' nests, abundantly protected by the neeru, that becomes the impediment for they feel threatened the moment Chellukuthy gets anywhere near the coconut tree.

Unlike in the past when he left that one tree as the last one to be taken care off, Chellukuthy decided to make a frontal assault on the tree right off the bat. He was determined to teach a lesson to these crows that they will never forget. He armed himself with lots of molangeen (the gooey sticky paste that is secreted by the jackfruit) and determined to confront the crows at the very outset. Suspecting that a clandestine scheme is in the works, a couple of the crows started circling overhead like the reconnaissance flights of the airborne Predator drone over the Afghan valley. One crow sitting all the way at the top of Angeli started crowing at the top of its lungs as though giving orders or summoning reinforcements. Chellukuthy observed that there was more than the unusual assembly of crows around the tree and more seemed to be making their way to the tree from just about all directions. As he approached the tree, three more crows started crowing from the top of the tree. Varkey thought this is strange; he normally has just a dust up with these birds. At the end he gets scratched a few times, and he kills a couple of birds, that is it. The air seemed different this time. The whole environment reminded him of Father Dismas's biblical narration of the last day when, according to him, the archangels will blow their trumpets from all corners of the world and all the dead will arise and head out to the "Valley of the dead" in order to prepare for the last judgment. It felt like some of the arch angels among the birds seemed to be blowing the trumpet for the birds had been arriving in droves.

As usual, Chellukuthy stripped his kaili (a plaid sheet worn mostly by laborers), tightened his konan, and wrapped himself in an Eerezha Thorthu Mundu (a type of low-cost bath towel better suited for the monsoon season). Tree climbers limit their attire to the Thorthu Mundu to maintain the least amount obstruction to climbing. Some local women love to help out with gathering the coconuts for they get blessed with a totally un-obstructed view of the man's appendage. Varkey, as a final preparation for that day's dual with the crows, attached the Molangeen container and the machete to his waist and slowly made his way to the bottom of the coconut tree. He paused for a brief moment, thought about Marium, and grabbed the tree for what appeared to be the initiation of a dual with the Buzzards.

By now, more of the crows started warming up and performing acrobatics, reminiscent of a World War II movie, while crowing at the same time hoping to avoid a confrontation with the bipedal. Regardless, these buzzards seemed ready to attack at the least provocation. To add to his own courage and reinforce his conviction, Chellukuthy burst out a few words of profanity involving mother, sister, sexual activities, bathroom and so on, a ritual that seemed universal for the human race. He then briskly started climbing the coconut tree and the buzzards started the attack. Their initial strategy was to shoot so much droppings on him that he will be forced to withdraw, a low-risk strategy for the buzzards. As it became clear that Chellukuthy's resolve was far stronger, they went to the first alternate plan where they will dive at him and scratch his back like strafe bombing. That strategy seemed futile for an hour of that only slowed Chellukuthy from climbing more than a few feet and this made the buzzards furious. They went into the last alternate, equivalent to a suicide bombing, in which they will attempt to scoop out their opponents eyeballs at the expense of sacrificing themselves. Of course, Chellukuthy was waiting exactly for this stage of the confrontation.

He extracted the Molengine from the container, spread it on both of his palms, and held his palms facing up. The buzzards, recognizing a convenient perch from where they could mount a relentless attack on his eyeballs, started elbowing each other to be the first to sit on his palms.

They did not realize that was exactly what Chellukuthy had in mind. As soon as a they sat on his palm, they realized the trap he had set up. It was too late for them. When three and four of the birds have sat on each of his palms and start to struggle to break out of the grip of the Molengine, he will close his hands grabbing seven or eight birds at a time, something even Frank Purdue would have been impressed about in his chicken catchers. He will smack them against the tree trunk killing or debilitating them instantaneously and dropping them to the ground. He will then open the hands for the next batch with more Molegine. Morning went to noon and then afternoon and Chellukuthy was still at it and the birds kept coming. The birds at the top of the Angili kept calling for help and birds from far away places like Pala, Petta, Adimali, Idukki, and so on kept arriving and taking their turns. There were small birds, big birds with wing span of upwards of six feet, some were armed with knife on their beak, and some had knife attached to their legs. No matter how well equipped they were, they all met the same fate.

As dusk fell on Kozhippilly, there was a mountain of birds, at least a thousand thousand of them, at the bottom of the coconut tree, most of them very, very cold and very, very dead. To the buzzards, it was equivalent to the allied retreat at Dunkirk during the beginning of the Second World War. The few birds, that chose not to take the martyrdom route in anticipation of the promised virgins on the other side, performed one last fly over the dead and dying as though performing the ritualistic last rites. Saddened and depressed, they flew away into the darkness and into an uncertain future. In their folklore, for centuries to come, they will remember that one fateful day in Kozhippilly, when they fought valiantly but still ended up losing badly, so many of their best and bravest gave up their life for what appeared to be an exercise in futility.

As Chellukuthy approached the Toddy shop, there was hushed murmur of admiration; here is a man that fought against the reviled buzzards and survived to tell his side of the story. In the annals of history, his story will be told with the same fervent as the movie from the new world, "The Last of the Mohicans". If Chellukuthy were a European, he may have been beatified and raised to sainthood, may be as St. Varkey of Kozhippilly, the patron saint of the Chethu Thozhilalies and Chellukuthies. He sat down for his customary two liters of toddy along with one plate of Pork Olathiyath. The bartender served the drinks but refused to accept any money for it, he was just happy to have met this giant of a climber. Kollan Kochappu had already conveyed to Marium the valiant feat of her husband but she could not see how a Pulayan can be capable of such a thing. In her mind those are things only the Muthalali could do. But to the rest of Kozhippilly felt differently. When Varkey reached home and into the welcoming arms of Marium, it was abundantly clear that this Chellukuthy has metamorphosed into Kaakka Varkey and generations to come will refuse to believe that one such as this, in flesh and blood, walked the streets of Kozhippilly.